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Has Your Libido Gone AWOL? 5 Tips To Get Your Sexy Back!


It’s a crying shame but many women going through menopause have come face to face with libido loss. But if that’s not something you’ve come up against, you can do a happy dance because not everyone experiences it. In fact, some ladies become hot-to-trot (smile-y face).

However, if your sexual drive has plummeted it can be a downer for your relationship. We can’t tell you how often we’ve heard that women make up excuses to go to bed later because they’d much rather do the dishes than get it on.

Why has your sexual desire left the building?

Yep, you guessed it. The culprits is usually decreasing sex hormones such as estrogen . And if that’s not enough of an insult this can also lead to a dry va-jay-jay and painful sex. You see, estrogen is our ‘juice’ and lower levels can cause less blood supply and vaginal lubrication.

Listen: Let’s talk va-jay-jay’s with Dr Mirjana Janjic

Couple that with common maladies such as feeling depressed and anxious, or hot flushes and weight gain. And it’s really no surprise you don’t feel so sexy.

Listen: Where has my libido gone?

But there’s no hard and fast rule regarding menopause and sex, which encompasses sex during perimenopause and sex after menopause. Just as everyone’s libido is individual to them so is their menopausal journey!

5 tips to rev up your libido


1. Talk

Communication is juicy. Your lover isn’t going to know what’s going on if you don’t tell them. So it’s kinda a no-brainer.

2. Choose intimacy over sexy

Sex isn’t the only way to express your love, affection and sexiness. Stroking, kissing, hugging, taking a walk together, having a date night may all help fan those flames.

3. Use a lubricant

Vaginal dryness affects women of all ages so there are quite a few varieties of lubricant on offer. Experts suggest using a water-based option as they’re easy to wash off. However, there’s also a place for oil-based lubricants like natural coconut and avocado oil as well as commercial varieties. The caution here is that they may affect condom strength. A tried and true option is Sylk which is water-based and uses a Kiwifruit exact. And Good Clean Love is 95% organic water-based, while Replens silicon-based long-lasting moisturiser lasts for up to three days.

Sylk New Zealand

Sylk Australia

4. Movement

Whether you walk, lift weights, dance, swim or climb mountains moving your body gets the endorphins flowing and helps you fabulous! And if you want to get your sex flames burning you need to feel good. This study showed that exercise can be beneficial in some cases of female sexual dysfunction. Research also showed that the positive body image exercise can produce improved sexual wellbeing.

5. Try Merry Peri™ or Perky Post™

The saffron, fenugreek, sage in these two all help with the sleep issues, moods and hot flushes that can put you off your sexy game. In addition, fabulous fenugreek has been associated with improved libido and sexual function. And vitamin D contributes to vaginal and bladder health. Grab some here

Photos by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels

Disclaimer: Our articles are for information only and intended to inform from a holistic point of view. They should not take the place of medical advice. Certain diet and exercise practises may be beneficial for the majority of people but could have potential risks for others. If you are contemplating lifestyle changes or you have ongoing concerns please consult your healthcare provider.

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This is the time when menstruation is well and truly over, the ovaries have stopped producing high levels of sex hormones and for many ladies, perimenopause symptoms subside.

Estrogen has protective qualities and the diminished levels mean organs such as your brain, heart and bones become more vulnerable. It’s also a key lubricant so your lips may become drier, your joints less supple and your vagina might be drier. In addition, your thyroid, digestion, insulin, cortisol and weight may alter.

At this juncture, a woman might experience an increase in the signs of reduced estrogen but she should have a decrease of perimenopause symptoms. That said, some women will experience symptoms like hot flushes for years or even the rest of their lives.


Peri = ‘near’

Most females begin to experience the symptoms of perimenopause in their mid-forties. Your progesterone levels decline from your mid-30s but it’s generally from around 40 that the rest of your sex hormones begin to follow suit. 

Perimenopause is a different experience for every woman and some women may barely notice it. The first indicators are usually changes to the monthly cycle. This means that for some ladies, this can be accompanied by things like sore breasts, mood swings, weight gain around the belly, and fatigue as time goes on.

For those with symptoms it can be a challenging time physically, mentally and emotionally.

Importantly, perimenopause lasts – on average – four to 10 years. The transition is usually a gradual process and many women enter perimenopause without realising.